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Smile Please!

November 12, 2014

A Selection Box! (18 tasty morsels)

Do you carouse on the carousel
or fill up on candyfloss
sweet sugar ‘tween your teeth and tongue
messing up your sparkling lip-gloss…
with lights all a flashing
and shouts and screams
from roller-coaster rides
to melting ice-cream
from death rides to candy twist
holding hands to that first kiss
kiss me quick hats and sticks of rock
fumbling in the shadows, doors to unlock
ghost train rides in darkness
twisted mirrors as you dance
cuddly toys and spotty boys
all waiting for the chance
to win you as a token prize…and hope to get ‘tween your thighs!

so with laughter and grease covered lips
as you feast on fish ‘n’ chips
then leaving from the final ride
feeling sick deep from inside
sit on the kerb to gather your thoughts
the lad beside you is not what you thought
and so you head home alone
as the one arm bandits fill and groan
with all the cash you’ve spent so far
no money left for a cab car
but one day you will come back
you love all the lights, noise and cheap tack!

Rusty Nails????? 

What good is a rusty nail?
Hit it too hard, and it’ll fail
to go in straight
you should’ve cut a mortice rebate
with a saw, then the joint will prevail!

 A Ball Point Pen… 

It’s only right that it writes
sending words of delight
to a loved one…
To scribble or script
you won’t break the tip
in anger or in fun…
blue ink or black
only encouragement lacks
to get you scribbling…

and when you receive
the reply you want to believe
then you will be left dribbling…
there is nothing finer
than writing a one-liner
or even a year long diary…
so much more fulfilling
as long as you’re willing
to reply, in kind, to me!

A Burst Water Pipe…

You’ve got yourself
a new monkey wrench
so now you tighten
the connection, get drenched
as the pipe begins to leak
it’s help now, you need to seek
your top is drenched
your floor is flooded
and now arrives
a plumber, hot-blooded
he sees you in
a state of despair
so quickly acts
the leak to repair
and once he’s halted
that water flow
he offers you his plunger
to do with?
well…you know!!!


Drained, so I’ll refrain from exertion
just lie down and get some diversions
like a cooling drink with plenty of ice
shared with someone special and nice
and the ice-cubes that are still spare
we can still enjoy and share…
by rubbing them over your skin
so cooling to the outside
but feeling hotter within
thoughts turn from chilling to sin
and as they melt
bodies ready to be felt
the heat wave takes it’s course
but there’s still readiness for some sauce
sticky perspiration
sensual sensations
then a cold shower shared later, of course!

My Big Toe… 

My hero
is my big toe
it points the way
I should go…
it leads me
in the right direction
firm foot forward
without dissention…
It tell me whether
I should oughta
put the rest of me
in hot water…
by taking the lead
of testing the bath
better a hot toe
than a scolded aftermath…


I’ve always wondered
and it does make you think
how women have handbags
full of everything,and the kitchen sink!
Such spacious caverns
always filled to overflowing
they can’t do without them
wherever they’re going!
and yet there is a problem
when they put it to mind
they rummage around for ages
for something they cannot find!
Why can’t they use pockets
like us blokes with sense
we can’t fill them with so much
but some ball-juggling can recompense!

 A Frog….. 

Sat on a lily pad, on the pond
hidden behind ferns and ticklish fronds
open eyed, silently studying
all the options later for buddying
waiting for the ladies to respond…

So with a raucous croak he shouts
come here frogesses – time to give out!
we can make thousands of tadpoles
from five minutes of froggy rigmarole!

And if you’ve ever seen
frogs mating in the pond or stream
then you will know
as the numbers grow
it’s a pulsating orgy of lust so obscene!


There is lipstick on my collar…
Then I look down and follow
the traces you’ve left
all crimson and deft
down to where you did swallow!

 A Big Mac Meal… 

I’ve never had
a big mac meal
don’t think I’d ever want to
don’t think I ever will…

no nutrition, no flavour
nothing remotely to savour
cardboard food for cardboard imaginations
depressing junk leaving sensory deprivation
lazy eating for additive junkies
cholesterol collectors, fast-food flunkies
nothing on the menu to remotely enjoy
probably nicer to eat the free plastic toys!

 Sticky Keys… 

I’ve had my zeds
and a morning romp
now it’s time to rest in bed
and to turn on the comp…

to see who’s been up all night
and to get me in the mood
for reading and writing to delight
I definitely need some food…

so a full round of buttered toast
with my favourite strawberry jam
it’s the one I love the most
now I login and delete the spam…

with toast in one hand
the other hand tapping away
it looks like I’m in demand
but that’s for later in the day…

the butter drips down my chest
the jam slides onto the keys
and before I’ve finished my brekkie fest
the jam’s jammed my rrrrrr’s and eeeeeeee’s!

The Magic Key… 

Sat in the corner, gaining dust
a once elegant now neglected box
smelling of must, covered in rust
no way of opening the lock…

what is inside?, I’ve never espied
tho’ many a time I’ve wondered
is it just empty, or would there be plenty
of treasure inside that’s been plundered…

I have to find out a way to get in
forgetting I haven’t a key
perhaps if I pick it, dextrously trick it
it’ll open itself, mysteriously…

I twiddle and fiddle and fumble and fret
fluster and bluster and curse
but am unable to open it yet
every time I try, it gets worse!

How can this frustration, lead to elation?

it’s driving me wild, even over the edge
desperately, finally, I get my own magic key
and smash it wide open, with the sledge!

The Laughing Potato?

King Edward was not impressed
he’d sent Charlotte to be blessed
in Pink Fir with a Maris Piper
whose Jersey Royal looked even riper
and so badly failed the test…

To hold the Pentland Crown
now he felt so let down
his Desiree seemed Majestic
but turned out to be a domestic
so he hid his hurt with a frown…

Then an idea came to his lips
so he shouted out, hands on hips
bring Maris Piper and Peer
right in front of me here
and I’ll turn them into chips!

He was told don’t be so daft
but he just stood there and laughed
‘I’ve got salt and vinegar
and loads of fish fingers’
so they ate, and lived happily ever aft!

 An Empty Tea Cup… 

Is an empty tea cup
drained to the very last sup
just a reflection on how you feel?
Is your life full of stains
or scattered tea leaf remains
and drips spilled over the edge at will…
do you feel cracked and chipped
soggy biscuit dunked and dipped

or feel like the saucerful of slops
are you feeling so incomplete
life without sugar not sweet
how you wish the strain would stop…
perhaps there’s a way
to improve your day
and it starts with a fresh brew…
so under the tea cosie
is something so much more rosie
proving a smile comes with tea for two!


There was a flea…
it freely landed on me…
so with a scratch of such vibrant vim
I fully explained, inclined to him…

Go Away!

So off he went, now mutually banned
and on a caterpillar he did fruitfully land
but twas immediately confused
so now he had to join the queues
for a leg, to beg for, and bite
to infuse his lust for a bit of delight…

He hung on through half a day and full night
and when the moment seemed so right
waited his turn, to blood suck and yearn…

But now once matched and tightly attached
sadly, his longing was quickly despatched
by the kick from the other 29 legs in turn!

So the moral of this tale
Is bite too much and you’ll fail
for the caterpillar will win
and escape from his slippery skin
to become, and this you can’t ever deny
a graceful, so beautiful
gentle-winged, spring butterfly…


You are wearing laced stockings
and lace frilled knickers and bra
but it’s what’s underneath them
that is thrilling my hands to wander far…

It’s not that the underwear is plain
it is so very sensual and exciting
but the woman underneath is seemingly hot
and is now, nearly bare and enticing…

the lace may encase the fruits
and succulence is what I seek
so strip away these lacey plays
and let me take more than a peek…!

A Birds Eye View From A Squirrel’s Nest!

I’m sat here high up in my drey
the forest floor seems so far away
the nuts have fallen, rich food is calling
yet high above a storm is squalling
but I daren’t leave home just yet
cos I hate it when my tail gets wet!
but if I don’t, and I surely wont
scramble down to the harvest below
my nuts will get stolen
some others gut will be swollen
and my stash will be empty, oh no!
so I quickly peek, dry route to seek
from here to harvest floor
I flit, twist and zip
missing almost every drip
until I can gather no more!
my drey is now full, and so is my belly
the rest of my stash
hid in an old smelly welly
but the nuts are dry
and now so am I
so I’ll just nestle back down
and watch the rest of the world drown
just keeping a wide open eye
for those pesky thieving magpies!


Prominently set proud
frilly encased
laid out to please
enticingly spaced
pliant pleasures
so full of flavour
and stiffly peaked
wondrous things to savour…
time to unwrap
lick at the icing
surrounding the roundness
full and enticing
squeezing the softness
licking my lips
nibbling the summits
enveloping the tips…
filled mouth with pleasure
hands filled, so gently baked
to enjoy at leisure
my favourite, cup-cakes!


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